If You Give a Kid a Cookie

This is my "real life/mom" version of the children's book, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie".


If You Give a Kid a Cookie:


If you give a kid a cookie they'll probably act like a crazy lunatic immediately after it's consumed.  While your kid is acting like a crazy lunatic you'll decide it's a good time to check your email, which will make your crazy lunatic child decide that she needs a marker.   While your kid has a marker she'll remember that she's only supposed to use markers on paper, which will make her crawl under the kitchen table and say, "leave me alone" (so she can color on herself, her shoes, and the floor).  When you hear your child say "leave me alone" you'll think she wants privacy so she can move her bowels, which will remind you of the bathroom and that the bathroom needs to be cleaned.  While cleaning the bathroom you'll find a spatula and a measuring cup that belong in the kitchen.  When you return to the kitchen you'll find a newly decorated kid and kitchen, which will send you searching for the wipes.  While getting the wipes in the living room you'll realize that the rug needs to be vacuumed.  After cleaning up the kid and the kitchen you get the vacuum  for the living room.  The kid will want to help, so you'll give her the dust buster so she can pick up too.  While vacuuming you'll turn to see that your kid has the dust buster up to her lips and is trying to suck every last breath out of her body with her little cleaning machine.  When you take the dust buster off her lips you'll realize that she has crumbs in her hair and so you'll "dust bust" them out.  Using the dust buster will make you realize that it needs to be emptied and so you'll bring it to the kitchen to empty it.  While emptying the dust buster you'll notice that there is a dirty dish towel, which will remind you that you need to do a load of laundry, so you'll take your kid down to the basement with you to start a load.  After you and your kid have finished loading the washing machine you'll let her push the button to start it.  When the washing machine starts you'll hear it start to fill and the sound of running water will remind you that you have to wash the pots and pans from last night's dinner.  When you are walking up the stairs from the basement you'll ask your kid if she wants to watch a show so that she'll have something to do while you wash the dishes.  Chances are she'll say yes, and then she'll say "no" to every healthy snack you offer to her while she watches the show - and she'll continuously say she wants......a cookie.....and the whole series of events will most likely repeat themselves once the show, and the cookie, are finished.