Updated fb posts

I asked my kids what they wanted to get my dad for his birthday tomorrow. My daughter said, "Um, I think he would like a New Buzz Light Year, Rex, and a Princess Ariel doll." I then asked my son and he said, "A curtain." I think they think my dad is a kid and/or a woman. On the positive side, those ARE real things,... unlike the suggestion of giving my husband a "blow hole" for Father's Day this past year.

Dare I say I've just made the best blueberry pancakes (from scratch) the world has ever known?? Oh, I think I do!

‎"You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it." Napoleon Dynamite....so classic! "TINA, you fat LARD, come get some DINNER!" Can't. stop. laughing.

.I just misread a bottle of Head and Shoulders and thought it read, "removes hair and scalp" (it actually reads, "improves hair and scalp"....I did a double take on that one).

The pediatrician wants me to try and "assist" my little jumping bean gain some weight. Easier said than done. Her favorite foods are, frozen orange juice ice cube pops, frozen blueberries, and baby food green beans. Tonight we went to Bertucci's with the kids. Guess what Kelly ate? The ice cubes from my water. I need to go on her diet.

This past weekend Jeff and I were telling the kids that we have a lot of celebrations coming up in November (my birthday, his birthday, mommy and daddy's anniversary). When I mentioned Brian's birthday and his being born he said, "Oh mommy, you were soooo excited to push your Brian out of your bum that day." Yeah, something like that.

On the heels of my "white skin" post I'd also like to add that my skin has decided to turn 16 & start breaking out again. You know, if I'm going to be covering up zits at 36 (hey that rhymes) then I want to get carded at bars or SOMETHING! COME ON! I'm heading to Whole Foods for wine, they card everyone. I saw them... card an elderly woman the other day, but I'll just pretend they're carding me b/c I look so young.

I love Fall for some common reasons i.e., cooler air, apple picking, apple pie, foliage, pumpkin scented candles etc. However, there is another reason Fall is the bomb. Now this may come as a shock to many of you, but I have fair skin and I don't really tan (I know, you can all pick your jaws up off the floor). About half way through Fall everyone else begins to look like me again, and this brings me joy :-)

I was lying in bed this morning and my son came in to lie next to me. We were talking & I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up & he said, "A dad and then an astronaut." He told me he was going to marry Tessa and they would have 4 kids. I asked him what his job would be when he was a dad and he said, "to give money to the mommy, Tessa." Smart smart boy I've got :-)

Can't find a better man, because I've got the BEST man.

Three cups of sangria along with a huge slice of cake in the late afternoon/ evening = super strange dreams (& up at 2 am, hence the post time of my new pics). Why strange? Example: Being at a gay bar called "Go Bananas" where people jumped off the bar into knee deep water to then run full speed, with their head down ...(like a bull), into another person's stomach trying to knock them down.

I made pan seared boneless pork chops on Sun night. My son asked what they were. He refused to try them b/c he doesn't like pork (he doesn't even know what pork is). I MADE him put a bite in his mouth & he gagged to the point of near vomiting. Tonight I made pan seared pork chops again (they're on sale this week). ... I told my son they were chicken. He ate them all up saying it was the BEST chicken he'd ever had.

I decided to watch a full episode of The Jersey Shore last night (curiosity mostly), and what I'm wondering is this: How can I get back the 30 minutes of my life that are now lost and gone forever from watching such utter crap? My jaw had dropped so far to the ground that I think an ant crawled in my mouth. I seriously apologized to God for wasting away part of my life....horrifying!

Just found part of a petrified hot dog under the coffee table...boy did it look scared!

Sometimes it is VERY hard to feel "blessed" or find "The Silver Lining" when all three of my children are screaming/crying/needing me at the same time. I just feel the need to be very real here b/c people are always very vocal about how wonderful their children are/they love them more than life itself/they can't imagine life without them, and while all this is true, sometimes it's good to hear the other truth too.

Wow! ABC just gave me 4 (maybe 5) more reasons to NEVER watch Dancing with the Stars. What's the definition of "star" that they're using, anyway??

My 3 yr old asks daily if I'll play princess dolls with her & every day I try but I only last about 5 minutes - it's SO boring! Finally today I just said to her, "Mommy just isn't good at playing princess dolls." A little while later she had her princess dolls & some farm animals. She handed me a dog and said, "Are ...you good at playing dogs?" How could I say NO. So we played princess dolls and dogs (& I yawned).

If Justin Timberlake can bring sexy back, then I can bring funny back (at least in my own mind....because that's where all the crazy thoughts come from....must. stop. thinking. so. much.)

I made a mental note not to put my hands in the soapy sink water because I had just put the blade attachment from the juicer into that water to soak. Unfortunately I forgot that I have no memory. Happily I only sliced the tops of a few finger nails or there would have been A BIG SCENE over here!!

Ever want to break out into song like they do on Glee? What would you sing in your home right now? Here, you ask? Well, we'd have a medley of "Cry Me a River", "You Drive Me Crazy", "Welcome to the Jungle" and of course, "I Will Always Love You."

On Monday I read two posts that people had a "case of the Mondays", today I've read three posts of people asking for positive energy/ thoughts or asking to be cheered up, and I've also read two posts stating that this has been the longest week EVER. What is UP with this week?? Because I'll tell ya right now, I'm feeling it too!!! Oh, and there have also been two liquid dinners posted this week too :-)

I noticed my son put his hand over the pile of almonds I had given him (a food he DOES like), & he slowly started sliding his hand to the edge of the table. I said, "what are you doing?" He replied (like a deer in headlights), "I was accidentally sliding these off the table onto the floor bc I don't really want them...." I said, "well maybe you should accidentally put them in your mouth and eat them."

If you're crazy and you know it clap your hands (clap clap), if you're crazy and you know it stomp your feet (stomp stomp), if you're crazy and you know it and you surely wanna show it, if you're crazy and you know it, have a drink! (or 5). Allllrighty then....time to get the troops dressed and out the door before I post something strange.

I believe that I've gone crazy today. I'm serious. I'm officially crazy. I just finished screaming at my kids and thinking about how much I detest my life at this moment in time, only to open up facebook and burst out laughing because someone got stung by a bee (i.e., tears streaming down my face, laughing). I believe they call the state I'm in manic.

I was just thinking about how my parent's will have been married for 39 years this coming Saturday, and was marveling at how long that is. Then I had this major revelation that they have been married longer than I'VE been ALIVE! Well, DUH!!!! I said this a few days ago and I'll say it again...I'm in charge of the ca...re and upbringing of three other human beings....scary!

I'm confused about Katy Perry...is she a good singer or not? Are her songs good? I don't know....I heard "California Gurls" 1 1/2 times yesterday (only 1/2 the second time because I was starting to get a dull headache). Why is she famous?? Honestly, Taylor Swift baffles me too....she kind of talk-sings...but I guess her songs are catchy?? WHY do I care???.......

My kids are scarfing down their "Deceptively Delicious" spinach and carrot brownies right now.....heh heh heh! Oh, and if ANY of you tell them what they're really eating (especially Brian, who gags at the site of anything green), I'll de-friend you IMMEDIATELY!

The restaurant I mentioned in my last post was where Jeff and I had our second date. That was the night I called him "Steve" and then when I laughed nervously after calling him the wrong name, I blew a snot bubble out of my nose....twice. I think it was at that very moment that Jeff knew, I was...THE ONE!

I went to a restaurant, sat at a bar and had dinner by myself tonight. Sure I looked like a big loser but I'll tell you one thing, I bet I was the happiest girl in the joint! (of course I would have been just as happy, if not happier if Jeff were with me, but alone was just fine with me tonight!).

I was talking to my brother on my cell phone today. While talking to my brother (on my cell phone) I was looking for my cell phone, so I could make a call after I got off the phone with him. I'm in charge of three small children....is anyone else (other than myself) scared for their safety??

At around 1 1/2 yrs of age children realize that "going to the bathroom (#2)" is a private thing. A child will go stand in a corner or behind a chair to be alone/hidden. Tonight we went to a playground/ball field. Jeff & the kids & I were the only ones there. Where did Kelly go for her "private" time? The pitcher'...s mound-right smack in the middle of the ball field. BUT, she DID cover her eyes - for privacy.

My mother woke up to the sound of bleating sheep. When she looked out the window there was a flock of about 8 in the front yard. When she looked out again there was a Duxbury cruiser in her yard. Out she went in her bathrobe - there had been a report of a flock of sheep wandering around Parks street. While talking ...to the cop a flock of wild turkeys ran by. I didn't realize Dux was so exciting (sarcasm) and rural

While driving today I had the pleasure of listening to an original Kate song that went something like: "You can sing (x20), we can sing together, aaaand we can look at the sky. I was wondering about thaaaat. Aaaaand Buzz Light Year will come rescue uuuuus. Aaaaand we can ride in the car. Aaaaand we can hold hands." I couldn't stop smiling.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a migraine and I can't shake it. No sudden movements please...I feel like I'm going to be sick. AND it's not like I can call in sick from my job.....I'll take that tranquilizer gun today.

So, I get the three kids on the couch for an Aladdin video, and when I turned the t.v. on (and before I could see the screen) I hear, "Well if you wanted a sperm donor so bad why didn't you just walk down the beach in your pink bikini. That's one way to get some." Turns out it was one of those trashy mid-day divorce ...court type shows. Thankfully no voices from the couch asked, "what's a sperm donor?"

I rescued Princess Jasmine, Bell, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, from the rain this morning. Does this mean I'm going to live happily ever after?

My elderly neighbor just asked, while staring at my belly, if I was expecting again. I smiled back and said, "No, I'm just fat." HUGH MASSIVE SIGH.... goodbye again my sweet little desserts.......see you 40 or so pounds from now.

At the deli the guy kept calling out "# 511"- I just stood there & smiled-I was sure 512 was in my hand. Then I realized the few old men that had been standing around the counter had left & I was the only one waiting. Deli guy said, "you must be 511 b/c 512 hasn't been taken yet." I looked down, yup - 511. I tried ...to explain that I had 3 little kids that had drained me of my brain. Then I asked for some ham.

My 4 year old son and 3 year old daughter were "flying" swinging on the swing set (you know, when you lie across the swing with your arms and legs out pretending to fly). My son to his 19 month old sister: "Kelly, try and see if you can run past us without getting hit!" I'm SO glad I heard that and was able to intervene before Kelly got her second shiner in two weeks (or a nose job).

I was at Job Lot (kind of like a building 19 but not...but with the same smell)....and I saw Silver Palate brand "Thick and rough" oatmeal.... am I the only one that thinks that name is comment worthy?

I want a hamburger. No, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake.....

I was gone from facebook all last week and now I'm fb binging!!! Must. get. a. life!!!! (at least this kind of binging won't make me gain more weight :-)

I was at Trader Joe's today and they ran out of the sample item of the day - cinnamon rolls. I was sad until I saw the guy pull out root beer and vanilla ice cream. I'm not a girl who'll say no to a root beer float (or a cinnamon roll...). Trader Joe's ROCKS MY WORLD!!!

Remember when David Spade said to Chris Farley, "I can actually hear you getting fatter" in Tommy Boy? Yeah well, I would have welcomed a rude comment like that at some point during "vacation" seeing as I'm visibly fatter than when we left. I would have at least slowed my mouth down a little while eating fried food and ice cream.

I'm back from "vacation" (let's face it I'm not going to have a real "vacation" until my kids are at least 5 years older, or not with me :-). I'd like to refer to it as, "spending even more time with my darling children in a different environment". Did you miss me?

With each new day a part of me that I never knew surfaces, and begins to shine.

Whoever said, "parent's should not use t.v. as a babysitter" and "children should not watch more than 2 hours of t.v. a day", didn't have: a. kids, b. three kids ages four and under, c. strep throat while taking care of 3 kids, d. a brain, e. three kids stuck inside on a rainy day, f. fb :-), g. disgusting humidity out...side, h. kids (oh, did I already write that??), i. a brain (guess I wrote that too).

It's 3 am and I'm up with strep throat and a killer headache. Just waiting for the most recent supply of Advil to kick in. FYI, if you've been thinking about getting strep (b/c you haven't had it in a while, or b/c you just want a good ol' fashioned sore throat) ...DON'T! I'd rather be barfing right now than have t...his! I'll take that tranquilizer gun right about now,,,maybe I'll go sit on my front lawn.