My parents decided to take a mini-vacation up to Vermont for their 39th wedding anniversary, and what they ended up learning is that looks can be deceiving (or at least brochures can be deceiving). After seeing pictures of a 4 star hotel they made their reservation, jumped in the car and headed to Vermont. However, upon getting out of the car they noticed that the hotel didn't quite match up with the lovely brochure, but they decided to check in anyway (being daring duo that they are). I guess things went from bad, to worse, to down right awful. The swimming pool was so murky you couldn't see the bottom (and ducks may have actually been swimming in it), the nets on the tennis courts were being held up by strings, there was no soap in their bathroom, and there were cigarette butts in the ashtray out on their deck. Now at this point, and this is just me (not saying anything bad about you mom and dad), I would have left. Unfortunately for my parents, they decided to sit out on the deck for a while (there's nothing like the smell of fresh Vermont air intermingled with the smell of used cigarette butts). When my dad sat down he disrupted a yellow jacket nest and was stung in the eye (I know, I know...you don't want to laugh, but feel you have to, but you don't want to because bee stings really hurt, but you can't help yourself...really, it's okay....let it all out). After finding shelter in their room and applying ice to my dad's eye (sorry you got stung dad), my parents decided to check out. This is a good thing, because if they hadn't I may have had to call their overall cognitive functioning into question. So, on they went to their new hotel and I believe that everything at this place was fine until the next morning when my mom went to take a shower and there was no water. Yes that's right, no water. They informed the front desk and the reply was, "Oh, that pump must be broken again. We'll fix it right now." One could make a series of "You know you're in Vermont when..." jokes, at this point.
My parents now faced a brand new day, full of possibilities, and full of more deceptive brochures! My mom had a brochure of a quaint, family run dairy farm that made it's own cheese and maple syrup. The brochure showed a beautiful red farm house, barn, pastures with cows grazing...just beautiful. And so my mom convinced my dad, who we'll call "swollen one eye" at this point, to take a drive through country to the dairy farm. Thankfully, and I mean THANK GOD the drive was beautiful, because the dairy farm was well, the pits. The farm house was run down, there wasn't much of a pasture, and the only cow in site was one baby cow tied to a tree just outside the barn. My father refused to get out of the car (good move dad). My mom ventured in the farm house to find 6 women, all with long gray hair (she said they looked like they had just come from Woodstock), sitting in a circle dunking cheese in wax. They were very friendly though, and told my mom that there was a room down the hall where she could view a six minute video on how to make maple syrup. I think she smiled, stood there for a minute and then left. My mom got to the car, I think there was laughter (I hope there was laughter), and then the decision to drive back home was made (just about 24 hours after they arrived). It's kind of a sad yet funny, but in a sad way, story.
Fast forward to this past Tuesday and my dad's birthday. My mom found a pair of white leather loafers at Kohl's in my dad size, marked down to $6.50 on clearance (go Deb!), which she wrapped and gave to my dad. The loafers looked much like the loafers "Cousin Eddie" gave to Clark Griswald in Vacation. It was very funny and very appropriate.
May the celebration of my parent's 40th wedding anniversary be the complete opposite of what happened this year.
Love you mom and dad (and I LOVE the new shoes, dad)!
Please note the golfers tan.
Boy do those glow against the darkness of the evening sky!
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